Disaster on Legs

So, I haven't blogged in a really long time. I was actually thinking that I subconsciously gave up on it.
But I guess not.
I think I'm in the mood to blog now simply because I had a horrible day. This week has just been horrible, but I have maintained optimism until now.

I had a meltdown in math class today. My old friends from my harder, freshman year days came to visit - my tears.
I have realized that though I have been through child therapy when I was younger because I cried too much (& this really isn't an exaggeration - you should have seen me during elementary school) I still have a slight problem. Or not? Maybe it's completely natural.

The thing is, I cry when I am frustrated.
I cry when I am angry.
I cry when no one understands me.
Rarely do I cry when I'm sad. I just mope around a little.
It reminds me of the times of my childhood when I pretended for the longest time that I had constant dry eyes, which caused the sudden tears during class. No one but me knew the truth.
I absoultely hate that feeling when I am suddenly overwhelmed, my throat tightens, and I have no control. I feel weak.

So, anyways, I cried during Algebra 2/Trig class. Have I mentioned I'm a junior in high school?

Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way. Maybe this is healthy because I'm not doing something else to vent over my emotions. I'm not doing drugs, I'm not getting drunk, I'm not isolating myself and, most importantly, I'm not giving up.

Math has always been my hardest subject. Always. But there's still time. I can still get a good grade on the class. My dream college is counting on me. I can, because I must.

There's nothing I can really do about my crying situation. I don't consider myself really sensitive, just a human being who copes differently than most people.

Lights, Camera, Procrastination!

Yesterday was my last time spotlighting for my high school's production of the musical, Cabaret. It was rather sad, the whole cast got attached to the story, and so did I. I do have something to carry with me from the production, if only for a little while. While holding the big-thingy maggiger that makes the spotlight, I burned my hand as I followed the Emcee dancing EVERYWHERE on stage. I still have a slight scar on the palm of my hand. Awesome.

Good news is another check for my list of extra curricular activites!
I can totally be a professional spotlighter. I've done it for three different shows now, I pretty muched mastered the art of it. It takes a lot of skill and coordination, you know.
No, I kid. It's pretty simple.

So we don't have school today because teachers are having a huge meeting with parents. This is our last week before winter break. Woohoo! I can barely be relieved by that, though. I still have tons of work to do. I have a final chemisty exam tomorrow and I only know half of the topics we covered. And I don't even know them well.

Junior year is so hard. My gpa is going to go down, I'm going to get mostly B's this semester. Ughughugh. And you know what my chemistry teacher says? "Oh, don't worry about getting into college. Not everyone belongs there anyway. We need plumbers and fruit sellers in society. Someone's got to do it."

I felt like yelling at him, "I DON'T WANT TO BE AN EFFIN' PLUMBER!"

Ah, the pressure of high school.

First Blog!

Ha ha ha. My first blog! I'm so excited, mainly because I'm trying something new instead of doing the day to day activities. Oh, ya. I'm a rebel.

So, hello. I hope everyone is feeling good today, it's raining where I am!

I feel obliged to introduce myself, although I heard from friends who are bloggers that not a lot of people read blogs anyway, so I'll be writing to myself. But that's all swell. This blog's purpose is, after all, replacing my old journal in which I used to (handwritten) write everything going on in the world and my personal life. It's the only way I vent, being the keep-to-myself-childishly-emotional person that I am.

So, I'm Anabell! I live in LA, but not in the rich, hollywood part of it, so I don't bump into celebrities everyday. But it's still pretty exciting and tolerable, mind you, it would be nice if there would be FOUR seasons yearly here instead of the ever-present sun.
I'm a junior in a high school known for their "hippie/druggie" kids. It's pretty funny. I wouldn't really know, my friends are the smart, valedictorian types of kids. I don't hang with that other crowd.

I'm an aspiring writer. I prefer essays over math tests.
I love music, but have no talent playing it (unfortunately).
There is an endless list of my likes and dislikes, but lets keep this short.
So this is me, Anabell. Check it!